My Twitter stream can seem like a really bad joke. Many of the people on there are well beyond the reach of anything that can be described as normal. There’s no want for variety- you can find just about anyone on Twitter to suit your tastes for whatever purpose.
And if you want to find the most date-disillusioned people this side of the Ho Chi Minh Trail, you don’t have to look far on Twitter. Because they insist on making it my business, your business and everyone else’s business.
That’s the genius of it. Millions of attention-starved people can gather on Twitter, reaching the thoughts and aspirations of millions of other attention-starved people all over the world and make an intergalactically esoteric connection.
Then why is it that day after day I still see the same people on there month after month regurgitating the same thinly-veiled “I’m single going on 4 years and I hate it with all my might” blasphemous relationship horse they can muster?
Many people aren’t familiar with Twitter. For those of you who aren’t, Twitter is basically a technologically crammed system of words/phrases/quotes/advertisements from various people sprinkled with instagram photos of their breakfast, lunch and dinner (really important stuff) into a series of random electronic shorthand notes.
It’s the closest thing I can liken to a real time interactive electronic bulletin board, while simultaneously deciphering, with a distinct probability, how a person might interact with others in real life.
So you can imagine what people will actually say and summarily reveal about themselves when they’re on Twitter discussing the mundanities of their lives. Especially when they are lamenting about their romantic liaisons- or lack thereof.
The women on Twitter are especially bad. They are emotionally fragile sand castles standing in front of the waves taunting and daring them, ignorant they’ve positioned themselves in the face of their own destruction. They believe the image they are trying to maintain isn’t lending any credence to their train wreck-scale dysfunction. What they should know is that men aren’t buying what they’re selling- for very smart and valid reasons.
The women on Twitter who act this way also do so in real life. The women who aren’t on Twitter act just the same.That is a certainty. The real injustice is in the advent of Twitter and the like that their inherent purpose makes it even more pronounced and obvious. Their words reveal everything.
Twitter or not, if a man is not calling you for a second date, after you’ve slept together, or after a series of “promising” steps he’s taken on his part towards procuring a vacant lot with you on Committed Relationship Lane, there’s a reason. And you are not helping matters if you think you aren’t at least partly to blame for his abandonment.
You’re a grapefruit?
We get it. Somebody fucked you over. Really bad. Or perhaps it was an entire atlas series of somebodies who fucked you over really bad. And we know all about it because you never fail to remind everyone around you.
“Wait a minute. I’m not bitter and I don’t act like that. I’m just like every other girl out there who is sick of getting trampled on by asshole men.”
The good news is, you shouldn’t have to act. The bad news is, you couldn’t act if your life depended on it. You are as bitter as the day is long and the men around you see it exactly for what it is- and they absolutely loathe it.
The sooner you choose to see your bitterness and malice as a fault, take responsibility for it and process it the way any emotionally responsible person knows he should, you’ll be on the road to being datable and desirable again.
Unless you look like Adriana Lima, 9 times out of 10 men simply aren’t going to put up with man-bashing bitterness. They can smell it oozing from your pores. Even though you deny it, you’re not fooling anyone- especially yourself.
You are bat shit crazy
He didn’t text you immediately after you texted him? And when he finally did, you asked him why he didn’t text you back right away?
Better yet, you asked him where this thing was headed after you had sex with him hoping that you could be the lime in his Cuba Libre under the assumption you were already in a relationship because of the one you’ve made up in your head.
He already thinks you are out of your damn mind because it doesn’t help that you spilled your guts about your last breakup being the be all and end all of your endless present day relationship struggles. And how someday very soon you’d like to marry a man just like him and have his 8 kids really doesn’t sweeten the pot.
If you’re doing these things, he thinks you’re crazy. What’s more is, he may be right. He’d be dumb not to run- he’s not going to stand around and watch this thing unravel like The China Syndrome.
Your emotional baggage is too heavy to lift, let alone carry
“I need to talk about my feelings RIGHT NOW.”
“I need you to talk about your feelings RIGHT NOW.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“You think she’s hot don’t you?”
“Who is that girl and why are you liking all her pictures on Facebook?”
News Flash: Clinginess, insecurity and emotional blackmail is not an aphrodisiac. And suffice to say, it definitely isn’t girlfriend or marriage material to most men who aren’t losers looking for someone to use and abuse.
This super-imposed emotional unpredictability makes any normal, trustworthy man’s skin crawl- because most men don’t like to be confronted and backed into a wall, especially over emotions. It makes them uncomfortable. It makes them scared and it makes them distrust you because you appear unstable.
It makes sense he’s not going to want to have a relationship with someone who is unstable. Asking him how he feels every five minutes is a good way to wear him down- ensuring he’ll never spring back.
You’re super unhappy
Negative Nelly is your seductive lesbian girlfriend- she makes you feel really good about feeling really bad. She reminds you that you are a miserable person and you live to let it show. You probably never smile or laugh because it’s too hard, you don’t want to and it might actually change your life (heaven forbid you try and be happy and actually succeed).
You never give yourself enough room to breathe and take in the simple things. You are happier being unhappy. And sadly, it isn’t attractive at all to him and most of the people around you.
Men want a woman who is happy, uplifting, cool, can tell jokes, is composed and genuinely positive. It is by far the best way to get a man to open up, relax and want to be with you.
Chances are, your overall unhappiness and cynicism is the cause of many of the maladies you’re confronting day to day, not just in your relationships.
Men have a certain drama/emotional bullshit meter that quickly lands on “Fight or Flight” alert when it comes to women who are emotional bags of shit. They see through it and they run as fast as they can come hell or high water.
Men have the right to be choosy, and when there are warning bells sounding like a buffalo stampede, he’s going to flee far and fast. The question you should be asking yourself is, am I guilty of any of this and what should I do about it?
The answer is, you should be doing something right here, right now. You’re not getting any younger and these guys aren’t growing blinder nor any more tolerant.
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