I think I die a little bit inside and throw up in mouth every time I hear some asinine foolish woman who’s dying to be in a relationship advocate for being some dude’s FWB.
I tried it once and I learned a lot. Not many women know, even remotely, what’s involved in being someone’s footstool, FWB, booty call, leftover slice of moldy pie, etc.- nor do they really know what they’re signing up for. They just blindly go along setting aside time for second rate Sunday nights and some stop-and-go ass because they “need sex so bad” at the same time they don’t have the balls to hold out for something better.
They want to front like they know exactly what they’re doing yet, if they actually did, they wouldn’t have to leave any kind of relationship up in the air, even less so leave it up to someone to decide that it isn’t worth a shit. If they knew what they were doing, they could easily have the relationship they want without ever having to bargain the worth of their vaginas against their potentiality as relationship material.
When you don’t have much to offer, it’s pretty safe to say you’re going to get little in return.
I don’t deal in FWB horseshit because I know that to establish a standard of dialogue and understanding in getting what I want from a relationship with a man of my choosing is necessary to get exactly what I want.
I never let any man decide that I’m not relationship material. And I certainly never let him decide that while granting him the permission to exploit some of the very best things I have to offer.
But if you’re out to freak the entire world because you’re a horny self-control lacking amoeba, void of the mind to give a shit about yourself or other people, then I guess this article won’t mean much at all to you.
I’m sure I could also leave out the reasoning that what you’re really doing is getting played like a fiddle because getting used and using people for sex isn’t about handling shit- except some nasty diseases, giving birth to children nobody wants and not having a fucking clue.
I Don’t Have to Rely on Sex
And I don’t have to let anyone rely on me for sex either. One of the best things about being a woman with impeccable standards is that I don’t have to rely on sex in any capacity except for my own self-satisfaction. The value I place on my satisfaction is never arbitrary- meaning, I’m never going to negotiate my satisfaction for less than what it takes to keep my satisfied.
And being some dude’s side of ass never has been and never will be satisfactory.
All men see is sex- if that’s all you’re willing to offer. And let’s face it, being an FWB doesn’t accommodate for the preamble of anything other than the “benefit” of unattached sex.
So I often wonder, who exactly “benefits” in this situation? Is it you or the guy? Or are you both mutually benefiting by sleeping together without setting forth any real dialogue except some unspoken fly-by-night arrangement “show up when you want to, get your rocks off, cut out and call me whenever.”
Now that’s winning- that is the stuff legends are made of.
I think not.
I’m certain the men I’m interested in think about having sex with me, but they’re also interested in the millions of other things I possess. That why it’s worth their time and investment in getting to know me before hitting the sheets. Because I’m worth a lot more than just sex. When they know you’re worth it, they make the effort.
FWB isn’t worth it- otherwise you’d be more whether you really want the guy or not.
If You Had Standards You Wouldn’t Need to Let Someone Use You For Sex
I’ve found the only reason people really want to use you for sex is because they see you as expendable, easy and available. Seriously, what else is there?
All I ever hear about FWB relationships is the complete lack of dialogue- the lack of thought put into it, the lack of motivation behind wanting and getting to know the person, and the lack of long-term fulfillment in which either one or both people can emerge from the unrelationship completely happy declaring “I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Instead it’s always:
“I wanted more but he/she didn’t.”
“She/he wanted more but I didn’t.”
“He/she found someone else and got settled.”
“It wasn’t enough for me anymore so I ended it.”
The only standard being set here is the standard of buyer’s remorse- I bought into it and now I want to give it back because it sucks and I was on the fence about it from the get go. That’s what people tend to do with used car dealership lemons- they want to throw that shit back because it was a poor investment as the result of very poor judgment.
As a matter of personal taste, I’d rather let someone remain in my life or walk away from it with the preponderance that I was completely worth it. I know how to make it worthwhile by being worthwhile long before I give it up.
There’s Nothing Glamorous About Being Someone’s “Less Than”
I’m very much used to being at the forefront of all aspects in my relationships- that’s where I make sure my needs are always being met and I’m free to have whatever I want. That’s what men love about me- I know I’m worth a whole lot more than having to resort to being somebody’s less than.
They’re not going to know that unless you know it yourself.
“I don’t really like you enough for a relationship but I’ll pretend to for a couple hours a night, midweek, every other month. And by the way, thanks for not giving me any shit about it even though we both know I’m fucking you over.”
Second hand rag much?
Last time I checked, being someone’s less than basically meant that you’re not good enough- in any capacity. At least not one that provides any real meaning or justifiability. “I’m not good enough for a relationship because I’m already letting you have a huge part of me without you having to do anything but come along and use it”.
Why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free? Yes in this instance, you’re offering up the whole cow- sex becomes you as the entire person (that’s the way they see it) and the rest of that shit you do outside the bedroom is the milk- they don’t know about it, could easily do without it and couldn’t care less.
You already gave it all you got- and they still think it isn’t enough. Shamefully lame trade off if you ask me.
Dealing out your ass like a free game of poker where all bets are off is pretty standard these days- in people who have no game at all.
Getting played, looking stupid, and being two tiers down isn’t game- that’s why you’ve settled for being the FWB. But hey, keep handing out that ass- that’s all you’re good for. At least that’s the way they see it.
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