If you want to date and you want real results, you generally have to put forth your best effort. Yet, I’m lessened to believe you’d stand to soil yourself in shock that people in the dating world fight tooth and nail to accept this ideology. They instead insist that pining for all the things that add up to much less than, way below half-full and arrive at C- mediocre doesn’t explain a lot as to why they’re not getting phone calls, second dates and any shot at a promising future.
Fact is, people are inherently lazy- it’s in our nature. Men are no exception yet, this is something women still stubbornly refuse to believe.
However, men will only be lazy because they are unmotivated- and because they keep encountering passive women who allow them to keep approaching them in unmotivated form. Women have to come to accept and actually encourage men to remain unmotivated by pretending that their purposeful laziness offers them a glimmer of hope, when it should be a sure sign that it’s time check out and avoid getting shoed up the ass.
I hear it all the time.
Double speak scenario #1: “He said he really likes me. I just don’t understand what happened. He never called back.”
Translation: He doesn’t really like you. At all. That’s why he never called back.
Double speak scenario #2: “He doesn’t want a relationship right now.”
Translation: He doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ever.
It’s pretty convenient for women to blame guys for being tools in these instances when the truth is they only have themselves to blame for allowing “tool time” to have its place somewhere in the equation to begin with.
If men don’t see any incentive to date you, they won’t. To them, undateable is pretty much undebatable.
Dating Isn’t Even a Requirement
So you think going “dutch” hanging out with him in the parking lot at the bar (where he didn’t even bother to invite you in for a drink) Tuesday night talking about how great your boobs are after his buddies cancelled planking is a date?
How about inviting you over to his bro’s house to “watch a movie” two weeks after the last time he barely attempted to pick up and dial the phone because he was too busy hold up at some other chick’s apartment pulling in penis duty?
Why should he date you when it’s pretty clear you’ll take whatever you can get? You’ve already shown him he doesn’t have to date you in order to keep your company otherwise, he knows damn well that he should.
A date isn’t him obliging last minute plans to “hang out” with you because he’s bored, because he’s hoping you’ll put out or because you’re the one who dutifully called him up yet again even after the last 3 times you had to keep calling him to make all the arrangements.
Also, men pay. Period. They pay cash, pay attention and pay you due respect. If he isn’t paying cash, he isn’t paying attention and if he isn’t paying attention, he isn’t paying you respect. The less money he wants to spend, the less time he actually intends to spend with you.
If you can’t get a man to open his wallet, good luck getting him to open up anything else except his fly (they’re always up for that). If you demonstrate that he doesn’t have to spend a dime (or invest in much of anything else) and you still want to spend time with him, you’re demonstrating that you’re a fool. Don’t underestimate these strategic asstards- these guys know exactly what they’re doing. And they can always count on women who are stupid.
Wasting Time on Men Who Don’t Even Want To Date Them
You like him, he barely likes you. You chase him and he doesn’t even bother. But he’s a keeper isn’t it he?
“I have to prove something to this guy! He’ll be sorry he passed up the opportunity of lifetime to be with me! Just you wait, I’ll show him!”
Kind of a moot point to try and show the guy anything when he didn’t notice anything great about you from the get go. Because let’s face it, if he had, he wouldn’t be cheaply and stealthily dodging you like a harassing bill collector and would instead be eager to approach you, call, go out, PAY, call, go out, PAY again, call, rinse and repeat (see above).
You’re not going to prove anything to anybody who doesn’t want to see it. Just because your ego is weak doesn’t mean he’s going to get all soft and weak on you. Far from it. The more you feel you have to try, the more he feels inclined to let you keep trying. It’s like the rat running the wheel- it’s pure entertainment.
If you don’t mind being someone’s joke for a pastime, by all means stick around and keep him laughing.
Many women don’t want to accept the “primordial” theory behind courtship because that’s what their grandmammies and grandpappies used to do 10,000 years ago. But they’ll do everything else he wants in a heartbeat, and I do mean everything.
Courtship has been around for centuries. Men courted women for months, sometimes years, before their mothers and fathers would offer their blessings in marriage.
Courtship 101: The guy actually stops by as much as he possibly can in person, makes it priority to spend a significant amount of time getting to know you, and is pretty much engrossed in all that other meaningful shit that accompanies “old-fashioned” courtship without trying to land you in bed.
It’s a disservice that women believe that courtship is a thing of the past, so they opt for the opposite (FWB, booty calls) of everything that real courtship instills- laying fertile groundwork that allows a respectful relationship to develop.
Going on one date, going to bed and going out of your mind with regret renders you undateable because he’s already gotten what makes courtship obsolete. He got the best you have to offer- at least that’s what he assumes because without really getting to know you, what else is there?
Coming On Too Strong
Women are much too forward, on all fronts. Why should he work when he doesn’t even have his work cut out for him?
I see a lot of women who don’t believe that men should have to work hard at anything in a relationship, so they’ll let their cleavage, tight pants and complimentary blowjobs try and make up for his share of the effort. Worse yet, they let their desperation and angst at their ovaries drying up leaving them to die of lifelong loneliness come out through bothersome texts, phone calls and pleas of “where is this thing going?”. What these guys are saying at this point is loud and clear:
“I’m right in having huge doubts about a potential relationship with you otherwise you wouldn’t be making so many fucking mistakes.”
It’s shocking how many women “can’t find love” while they’re pushing these guys to make a beeline for the nearest exit when they really just need to get the fuck off their backs. They think you’re crazy, lonely and desperate- and if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….
You get the picture.
You’re undateable if you’re not on the market knowing what you’re up against and who you’re competing with. And being lax, desperate, in a hurry, ignorant, stupid, foolish and blind doesn’t leverage you huge demand. Think about it. When you’re scouring ads in the paper for your next big house, car, gold coin collection or what have you, I’m certain you don’t spend too much time on the ads that scream, “Needs lots of TLC.”
Straighten it out or get steamrolled. Date ‘em right and there’s never two ways about it.
You may also like:
- The Kind of Woman a Man Never Forgets
- The Female Player’s Strategy: The Preemptive Strike
- Too Pretty to Date? Give Me an Effing Break
- 10 Things You Should Be Doing Right Now to Find the Right Man
- 2012: You Have to Give to Receive