Being the biggest, most selfish, most self-entitled asshole in the world is a relatively new and modern day tradition- one that people think is gallant, cool, marvelous and fits the grand scheme of the “it’s all about me” selfish mindset we’ve accepted as the societal norm.
In fact, it seems that people are on a mission to compete with each other on just how selfish they can be.
“Hey, check out my car, my house, my fake hair and my padded rear end and by all means, “hate me” because you ain’t me.”
Dude, it totally sucks to be you because it’s all about me.
There are millions of devices, tools and borrowed concepts out there designed to influence our beliefs that it’s all about “us”- that the world is designed with one thing in mind- what it’s going to do to serve OUR needs.
Thus, people have gotten used to pointing the finger back in their own direction with the nuance that it’s perfectly okay that everything they’re doing is to benefit themselves, and they expect people to adjust to their notions that everyone’s agenda should exist primarily to please them.
“What am I going to get out of it?” “How is this going to work for me?” “How is this person going to give me everything I want without getting their hands on what is mine?
And ultimately, let’s not forget, “What does this person have that I can get my filthy little f*cking hands on?”
Yesterday, I presented you with a video that surveyed people on the streets of New York City concerning their ideas on marriage. And from those, some seemed eager, some seemed less than and some seemed as though to get married is to live life in a vacuum- to relinquish your right to self-imposing ideas that revolve around the concept that “I’m bigger and more important than everyone else”. To give up “options” and to settle for a life that is less than something else out there that could be potentially better.
I was a bit surprised to hear one woman say that she was content with living in the co-hagitat situation but I question her sincerity- I know A LOT of women who live like that. And from what I’ve gathered, I can honestly say that for every man who claims that marriage isn’t at all important, there’s a woman standing behind him for which it means the world.
Heaven forbid we ever come around to the idea of caring wholeheartedly about other people and not just ourselves. After all, that’s what makes a marriage successful yet, has become something as passe and worthless as an 8-track tape player.
It’s all about my career, my retirement, and my ass.
Why should I open up my wallet, my personal belief system, my retirement, my home and MYSELF for you?
Why should I put my heart on the line so that I can be vulnerable and welcome you to the idea that you can and will take advantage of me?
And if I do decide to marry you, what am I going to get out of it? How is marrying you going to benefit me when I already have everything I want?
If you already have “everything” you want, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH ME?
If a person places a lot more inherent value on THINGS than people, you don’t want to them anyway. For a person like this, it’s all about checks and balances.
For instance, if you’re super hot but don’t have a college degree or a decent job, or if you have a lot of money but you look like a mule’s ass, WHEN EITHER THE LOOKS FADE OR THE MONEY DRIES UP, THIS PERSON IS GOING TO SEE YOU AS NO LESS THAN A BURDEN. After all, they see you as one NOW.
Contingencies = conditions = contriving BS.
And remember, if you get injured or sick or wind up disabled or are otherwise rendered impotent, you’ll be washed up, useless, and defective and sent right back to where you started.
The other person doesn’t live up to MY expectations.
I’ve mentioned how I feel about expectations. And I have one question for all those selfish asshats out there who think that the other person’s sole existence in life is a fruitless effort to please them:
Who the f*ck are you to drum out a list of expectations? What makes you so much better than everyone else that you expect people to run through their lives with the motivation to make you the sole recipient of all the things you expect them to be?
As I’ve said before, if you expect people to live their lives a certain way according to your qualifications, YOU BETTER BRING JUST AS MUCH, IF NOT MORE, TO THE TABLE AS YOU EXPECT TO GET IN RETURN.
I am thoroughly convinced that people are so delusional to the point of delirium in their expectations of people that they’ve completely forgotten how to look at themselves with the same subjectivity.
And I’ve found that people who have overly lofty expectations are the ones who are the furthest from being perfect. In fact, they’re the ones who could stand to benefit the most from making some badly needed improvements.
If you want to place expectations on people, especially unrealistic ones, maybe you should take a vow to remain alone FOREVER. Sounds befitting to me since no one in the world is ever going to be good enough for you.
I don’t need to marry you to prove that I’m committed to you.
This is no less than a homogenized mixture of bullshit, excuses and the unwillingness to care enough about someone to make the necessary sacrifices needed to keep them around forever, BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT THEM AROUND FOREVER.
“I don’t need to marry you to prove that I’m committed to you” is nothing more than the perfect “here today, gone tomorrow” arrangement.
“I don’t need to marry you because our situation is working out just fine. If it ain’t broke babe, don’t try and fix it.”
You know why the situation is working out just fine and dandy? BECAUSE YOU’VE SETTLED FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S SELFISH IDEA OF AN IDEAL SITUATION. You’re the one hanging around complacent in the fact that the other person doesn’t want to marry you because you’re pandering to the other person’s self-interest.
In essence, you are being an enabler. YOU’RE ENABLING THE OTHER PERSON TO DICTATE THE FACT THAT MARRIAGE IS UNIMPORTANT and will undoubtedly remain so for the entire duration of your doomed to fail relationship.
Let someone rationalize that marriage is unimportant and you’ve just given them license to unconsciously believe and make YOU BELIEVE that YOU ARE UNIMPORTANT.
I don’t want to get married because I don’t want to end up divorced.
This is the mother of all selfish coward cop-outs if there ever was one. The fact that the letter “I” is 1/7 of the entire sentence and says it all.
1) I don’t want to get married.
This is enough right here. There’s no need for further justification. Any time someone tells you they don’t want to get married, THEY DON’T- at least not to you.
2) I don’t want to end up divorced.
Not only do they not want to marry you, it’s also another huge kick upside your thick head that they could very well see themselves divorcing you- a strong indicator that they know in the end it just isn’t going to work.
Additionally, any time a person makes excuses against marriage, THEY DON’T HAVE THE EFFING BALLS TO LOOK BEYOND THEIR OWN SELF-INTERESTS AND OPEN THEMSELVES UP TO THE IDEA OF PLEASING SOMEONE ELSE.
I don’t want to marry you to please you because you exist to please me. And what pleases me is for us to remain trivial, unmarried, and illegitimate because that’s what we are.
So next time that guy/girl tells you they don’t want to marry you, think of them as no less than selfish. Too selfish to see you as someone of whom they want share in their lives with 100%, and for whom the world is too big a place to want to stop and give you a lasting piece of themselves.
Marriage is about self-sacrifice, thinking of two people as one unit, and considering the other person to be as important, if not more important than yourself. And as long as people keep thinking “it’s all about them”, that’s all they’re going to end up with- THEM.
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