What Does It Mean When He Says That He Loves Me
Those three little words. I love you.
They pack more punch than an old man stuffed to the brim with Metamucil, bran kibble and prune juice when he’s having trouble going through the motions. And when our guy says these three itsy bitsy teeny tiny words, we get all warm, all choked and worked up, and totally willing to do whatever, including removing our dignity, our pubic hair and our drawls.
Women LOVE to lament in when the first occasion occurred that dude said “I love you” and you can ask any woman and she’ll tell you the precise time, day, and hour down to the effing clock strike when her guy first told her he loved her. I know, because I used to do this myself.
I’ve been there a few times with lovers of the past. I can still hear those perfect little words ringing in my ear as if they’re being said right now, right here, over and over again. WOMEN LOVE TO HEAR THAT SHIT and for some reason we effing fall like fools for it every single time.
Even if the guy is drunk, in jail or has been living with some chick all along- we believe it because love is something great enough to believe in.
Why do we, women especially, put major stock in words instead of actions? Why do we insist on believing it every time we hear it?
Well it’s simple really. Women foolishly buy the words “I love you” like they’re being sold a souped up piece of crap Pacer on it’s last leg because it’s a “classic”. Yeah, it’s a classic alright. A classic hook, line, sinker. And a “see you later” because the guy’s a jerk anyway. But he said it didn’t he?
However, in my experience, MEN GENERALLY DON’T PLAY AROUND WITH THE “LOVE” WORD UNLESS THERE’S A HINT OF TRUTH TO IT. I mean, why would they? Men can barely hold a straight face in telling women they want to continue dating, much less utter three little words that are the damned near equivalent of getting a chick knocked up.
However, no beans, some guys will lie if it means getting them the leverage, the leeway, and the license to be an asshat. But I’ve found most of the time, if dude’s saying it, he means it at least somewhat.
So how do I know if he’s lying or telling the truth, and how do I know the right context in which to believe him?
He means it if he’s saying it before he’s even mentioned to you what color he thinks your nipples are. He doesn’t if he’s says it while he’s looking at them.
Guys love to have sex. So do us girls. And love can easily become part of the passionate, fantastical fantasy when we’re in the heat of the moment. I’ve succumbed to orgasmic delight in hearing a man tell me he loved me during foreplay, in the animalistic act and basking and shaking in the afterglow. It’s all part of the grandeur and the perfection and the desirous contextual significance of a super sexy sexual encounter.
However, I’ve been lied to and I knew it because the guy treated me like dog crap every other minute we spent outside the bedroom. He said he loved me while I opened my thighs and not sooner than I could open my eyes.
I find that if a guy REALLY LOVES YOU, HE’S GOING TO SAY IT WHEN YOU LOOK YOUR UGLIEST, WHEN YOU’RE AT YOUR MADDEST, AND WHEN YOUR DRAWLS AREN’T WRAPPED AROUND YOUR ANKLES.
He’ll say it over the phone in the middle of being interrupted at work, he’ll tell you in a card nestled in some flowers on your birthday, and he’ll tell you in the morning before he goes outside to warm up your car.
He’ll say it AND MEAN IT when the time, place and context are completely irrelevant.
He means it if he’s says it in front of a room full of his dearest friends and family members. He doesn’t when he barely muffles it reeking of booze behind a dimly lit wall at the corner dive bar.
A lot of women want to get the guy sprung. And they think the way to do that is to splay out their rear end when he wants it, when he needs it and when it’s convenient for him. They try to act like they got the upper hand and convince themselves they do by going out, meeting dudes and promising the ass if the guy can walk a thick line along the labor of love.
They think “wow, this guy really likes me if he’s called me up, of all people, tonight and invites me out for drinks. Even though he’s drunk, he said he loves me so he must. Since he said it, I’ll give him what he wants“. Needless to say, THESE DUMB BROADS KNOW THEY’RE GOING TO GIVE IT UP ANYWAY.
Reminds me of this reality show I was watching where the chick was hell bent on getting married and was “patiently” waiting for the right guy. At the same time, she was seeing a douchebag who told her he wasn’t looking for anything serious, didn’t want commitment, and he was very much satisfied with their FWB, no questions asked arrangement. After he laid it all out to her, she argued with him and told him it wasn’t okay, and was essentially pressuring him into considering more. He did however bend a bit and say that he “loved” her and valued their friendship, just enough to keep her engine on idle.
After this meaningless conversation, they take a weekend getaway and she does up the whore thing with the wigs and the nasty outfits (far from the innocent wifey material she wants to portray herself) and plays the nasty little freak for him all weekend. SHE STILL GIVES UP THE ASS THINKING IT’S GOING TO GET HIM TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS. Unsurprisingly, they arrive back home only to break up.
This guy didn’t lie but he wasn’t fully honest either. He could’ve done the upstanding thing and told her he wanted nothing more to do with her and cut her off instead of taking her on a weekend trip and f*cking her silly until she couldn’t see straight.
This guy is the equivalent of the drunk douching it up at the dive bar. He said he loved her to get what was convenient for him at the time. Then he ditched her after the erection wore down and the blood reentered his brain.
If the ass is the only thing hanging around in the backdrop of the relationship, and there is no other basis upon which to build a relationship, HE IS LYING WHEN HE SAYS HE LOVES YOU.
He means it when he says it when he shows up on time, talks about taking it to the next level of exclusivity and wants to be near you every spare minute he can. He doesn’t when he calls at 2am, comes by, cums on the sheets and cuts.
Just like the dumb hag listed above, she put pseudo-hope into a sexual relationship under the assumption that if she wiggles her ass just right, the dude is going to get not only wound up, but wrapped up in love, commitment, and is going to pull down 11 stars for her from the heavens above.
Guys don’t blur the lines of strict ass and real love. Women need to get with it that if a guy only shows up in order to get the ass, makes booty calls, and doesn’t want to know shit about anything else that’s going on in their lives, HE IS NOT IN LOVE. Sex is very powerful and the oxytocin is like a drug that makes us delusional to the point of self-denial and foolish psychosis.
If he’s only hanging around for sex, he is only hanging around for sex whether he lies and says he loves you or not.
So how do you know if a guy really loves you?
- When he truly cares about the things you care about.
- When he truly cares about your feelings and your welfare.
- When he shows up when you’re sick, need a friend, or have a problem.
- When he spends quality time with you outside of showing off your rear end.
- When he gives you an engagement ring and makes a date.
- When he is willing to talk real commitment, not talk his way out of it.
- When he makes it known to all the people in his life that are important to him, that you’re the one for him.
- When the only excuses he’s making are to his friends because he’s no longer willing to ditch you to hang out with them.
- When nothing else in the world matters to him but being with you.
And finally the guy really loves you when:
He sticks around indefinitely NO MATTER WHAT. NOT JUST WHEN YOU AGREE TO GIVE UP THE ASS.
You may also like:
- A Decent Girl For a Nice Guy
- Man Skank: And No It’s Not a Cologne
- Be a Lady and He’ll Treat You Like One
- The Guy Just Doesn’t Give Up
- Chasing Dudes is Desperate Lame and Pathetic
14 Responses to “What Does It Mean When He Says That He Loves Me”
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kalimah Priforce and Jackie Summers, Feisty_Woman. Feisty_Woman said: What does it mean when guy says he loves me? http://su.pr/8vrdEd [...]





So, you’re saying: anal doesn’t equal love?
JK. GREAT stuff. Keep it up.
JFB
OMG ROTFLMAO!!!! Jackie you kill me.
Nope Jack.
Neither does ATM but don’t tell these chicks that otherwise they might wake up. LOL
My guy Jake say I love u with a straight face he Nos wat to say to me wen and were.
Another thing Feisty – don’t buy into the waiting for him to say it – if he’s getting ass without having to say more than likely he never will! Last Exassclown NEVER said it – it was implied. He actually told me his friend said if you just lie and tell them you love them you will get more ass but he doesn’t like to lie – he just likes to get ass. Bought me a Barbie video for my birthday because it had dancing in it. BARBIE – WTF! I hate Barbie and all she stands for – wow – even my niece said – he really doesn’t know you does he – did ya smack him. No I was still being the “nice” girl polite. DoormatDarling has been buried in the backyard next to WonderWife and SuperMom.
Agree with all of the above! And yes no matter where you are, what you look like, boggers and all! Hubby still says everyday – have I told you I love you yet today?
Barbie?!? OMG WTF? You sure he didn’t buy the video for himself? What an asshat from hell!!!
DoormatDarling, WonderWife and SuperMom get you nothing but shamefully shafted and utter disrespect. No effing joke. Give up the ass when it works for you, not when you think it’ll work for him.
Ugh. Why DO we put more weight on the words WE WANT TO HEAR and not the actions, or the words we DON’T? Why is that? Why is “I love you” a free pass sometimes?
And (slight tangent here, sorry Feisty) why do we throw it around and not think about it more? It should be a big deal, and should be backed up with a HISTORY of actions. Yet… we want to hear it and say it… without thinking enough about what it means. Meh. Hits a nerve with this girl.
With you on that Nikki – should not be said lightly or taken lightly. If thats what you want – wait for it. If it doesn’t really matter to you and you are just in for a good roll in the hay then what does it matter. It should never be “used” to gain access. GGRRRRrrrrr
I never take it lightly and I know it when I feel it… now.
I don’t know Niks but man, women LOVE words. Even when they’re empty. It defies all logic. It’s like a designation for us to remain really stupid.
So what does it mean when your ex texts you after a lil over a month of being broken up that he honestly can’t handle knowing that I’m gonna start dating and moving on, “I love you… Goodbye” after agreeing to be friends again and seeing where it takes us if anywhere, but with no expectations or promises? I mean, it was his idea in the first place!?? I just responded “I understand, No worries.” Truth is, I’m so heart broken and busy with school and work that I have no desire to even date right now. I just wanted him to think that I’m not putting my life on hold until HE figures out what HE wants. Besides, he told me that he’s already been with 3 women to try and get over me, but nobody can compare and I’m hard to get over… and HE CAN’T HANDLE KNOWING THAT I MAY POSSIBLY START DATING someone else after that!?? WTF is that!????? Anyway, I do love him, and pretty much just told myself that, “Ok, he screwed around but they obviously weren’t me bc he keeps coming back so I must have something he wants…” I don’t see him often but when and if I make time, I DON’T sleep with him. Confused!
I feel your pain.
Before Christmas, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to start seeing other people; I didn’t want to date long-distance anymore. We agreed to remain friendly.
Over New Year’s, we slept together. I started thinking that I would like to get back together with Ex. I didn’t tell Ex that. Ex didn’t say he wanted to get back together.
Shortly after New Year’s, another Suitor asked me out. We had three really great dates. I could see things getting serious with Suitor.
Around Jan 15, Ex and I saw each other again. I asked Ex, “What would you do if I said I wanted to become exclusive with you?” He said, “Maybe, it would be very difficult, I don’t know. I’m not ready to lock it down yet.” In my mind, I thought, “Ex wants to have fun, but he doesn’t want to commit.”
Around Jan 27, Suitor asked me whether I wanted to be exclusive with him. I said yes.
Same day, Ex wanted to make plans, and I told Ex I was dating someone else exclusively. Ex told me he felt really dumb letting me go, and that as he had feared, he had lost me. Ex told me that he loved me and had been planning to tell me the next time we got together.
I never thought I could be so angry at someone for telling me that he loved me. Subsequently he has said that he couldn’t believe I was willing to “throw everything we had away.” I told him I couldn’t believe that he expected me to trust his love when only two weeks ago he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be exclusive or not.
Tracy, I am in a somewhat similar situation, he says he loves me, loves the way I make him feel, and doesn’t want to be without me but, at the end of the day he is still a MAN. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Because I do love him, I made the decision to scale back from him, allow him to dwell on his words and see how he feels without me, the one he loves and makes him feel so good!
When men realize they’ve got a good woman, they can’t stand to see her go. Its true the others will never compare to us and while this can do a little something for some individuals confidence ore go, we good women still deserve to be treated like queens as we do them kings. I think you made a wise decision in remaining friends, seeing him when YOU want and NOT sleeping with him, you GO girl! One thing about it, men will do what you allow them to….this is one reason I had to put my ffot down and make a stand early in my relationship.
I know i am a little young or at least that is what people say but my guys name is Nick and he means the world to me he tells me how much i mean to him and he tells me that i am the reason he keeps going and my parents love him and they always say that there is no body that will ever be good enough for us but my Dad told me that Nick is
. The saddest part about it is that Nick has a disease, cystic fibrosis and it scares me because i really think i love him and i dont understand why God would give such an amazing person this disease, but nick appreciates what he has and he treats me like a princess and I Love Him i really do! <3