Jealousy is the ugly green-eyed monster we all lay up in bed with and take a good beating from at some point in our lives. Psychological studies hadn’t been able to pinpoint, until recently, the exact science behind jealousy or even classify it as a true emotion. It just rears its ugly head at the most unwelcome times and we often have trouble hiding it from those around us.
We’re all jealous of someone at least once, but unfortunately for some, they’re jealous of people way more than others and they let it consume their lives. And they’re miserable people because of it.
I’ll admit there are a handful of times that I’ve been so frantically jealous of other women that I almost ran out to a therapist to have these women permanently erased from my memory just to keep my sanity. These women still, to this day, stick out like a sore thumb in my mind because there was something about them that was so special and unique and so very different from me. They “had it all”, and I badly wanted what they “had” for myself.
That is until I became comfortable and happy enough with myself to outgrow my issues and be a more giving person.
I learned how to channel jealousy into sincere and true admiration for my lovely female brethren, and it has helped me be a better person all around. It has helped me appreciate my life and have new friends and be a sense of support for other women. Not to mention, it has given me huge karma points in life.
Jealousy will turn you into a raging aging hag. Nothing like a little jealousy to draw some deep lines into your face because of your love for sneering and scowling.
To be certain, jealousy does only one thing real well, and that’s make you look sad and pathetic.
I can tell you firsthand, why you might be jealous and what it does to degrade your self-worth and confidence. Careful, this might sting a little:
- She’s better looking than you are.
When I worked at the strip club, there was one woman out of the hundred or so there in the whole place who always trumped all the competition. She was absolutely beautiful. She danced one afternoon while I was working and ALL OF US, including the other dancers were either staring or glaring. I didn’t want to admit I was one of the ones glaring but I definitely was. I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her and neither could anyone else in the room.
A lot of hags are jealous of other women who are more desirable and more influential than they are. Part of it has to do with feeling threatened and it also has to do with comparing themselves to the “better” person.
We should never compare ourselves to other women because that only causes us to pinpoint, with laser precision, our own perceived “inadequacies”. Instead, we should be thankful that we are individuals and that our own individual qualities make us who we are. We’ll never get to be her so why spend time punishing ourselves because we aren’t?
- She has a great man who treats her well.
Women who can’t identify with being in a loving relationship with a great man often have issues with seeing other women who do. It serves to remind them of where they’re lacking as potential girlfriends/wives and to them, it becomes a poor reflection upon themselves as women as to why they’ve “failed” in garnering a meaningful relationship with a good man.
All women want a good man, yet when we feel like we don’t deserve one because we’re not good enough to have one, we resent those who do. To us, the women who have good men must somehow be better off than we are.
It’s true, they probably are better than you. Better at treating themselves superiorly and demanding that their men do the same. They have a great man because that is their rule, and not their exception. They have a great man because they accept no less.
- She is more talented and more popular.
Hags also become notoriously jealous of women who are more talented and gain more attention. To a jealous hag, the ultimate slap in the face is to see someone who always does everything right and with the exactitude that just seems to come so easily and naturally to them. You always hear jealous hags saying, “Look at her, she doesn’t even have to lift a finger or work to get anything. Everybody just hands it to her because she’s just so great and perfect.”
Women who have these sort of jealousy issues are crying out for attention from other people, and they find time and again that no one is around to boost their floundering ego or bolster their sense of insufficiency. They can’t stand anyone else being in the spotlight because it casts on them an even bigger shadow of invisibility.
When women, and people in general, start realizing it’s not all about them all the time, they often figure out there are other people out there who too are talented, are popular and are very much deserving of their own due credit. When we lend our support to others, we don’t feel the need to piss on anyone’s parade. We fill that void by giving and sharing in each others’ good fortune and happiness.
- You’re a hateful skag.
Some hags are just spiteful, detesting sores on the rear end of society, who can’t be happy for others no matter how kind or necessary it is. Most people inherently know and are conditioned at some point in their lives to exercise some level of humility and grace, yet some of them would rather choose to hate with every fiber in their being and in their soul.
They never have anything good to say about anybody, or themselves.
To see others being happy, being successful in what they do, or being kind and being well-liked by others is like getting a surprise bile-induced kick right in the gut. It leaves them sickened to their stomachs to be reminded that goodness and kindness produce great outcomes and that their own hatefulness only keeps them isolated and bewildered.
Yet, they don’t want to change or let their guard down because it hurts too much to acknowledge their pain. So they live in it and feed off of it, like a vulture feeds on roadkill. Nastiness is dependent on nastiness to perpetuate nastiness.
If there were ever a pill to cure jealousy, it should be given freely. Although most of the time, jealousy is very much a small fraction factored into the entire equation of the individual for whom it is a choice. I’ve been there and I know what it feels like, and it’s no way to live a fulfilling life. I chose to put my jealousy in check.
Women should support each other and prop each other up as women, not tear each other down as ugly unforgiving enemy hags. When we learn to appreciate each other, more of our time is better spent being satisfied and happy with ourselves. Then we get to find ourselves in fruitful personal relationships, strong friendships and doing all the things we truly enjoy.