Casual sex is just like changing your drawls. You can have a different pair each day of the week and throw them out when they’re all finished and used up. You don’t have to think twice about where you left them, where they’re headed or how they’ll end up. They’re easily discarded like a worn-out dirty old used instrument, whose sole purpose is to rub against and pat your rear end, while you can be satisfied and relieved in knowing you’ll never need or see them again.
That is until they turn up twisted and wadded up under the back seat of your boyfriend’s car for which he has no explanation, except that he swore up and down they were yours.
Seems more now than ever before that love and intimacy has been thrown out in favor of lifelong single-hood and loneliness. People just don’t give a damn about relationships, emotions, or feelings, especially when it comes to sex because they’re too busy, too lazy, too disconnected and too selfish to get involved.
Everybody seems to know all the right angles to get exactly what they want for little or nothing at all. People have engineered a system and given it a name.
Welcome to the world of hooking up, FWB’s and No Strings Attached sex, my friends. Where it’s the norm to be completely unavailable to stay the entire night, much less stay an entire lifetime.
How do people easily offer up a marginal piece of their entire pie as a person, while the other party involved eagerly lops up and devours every last crumb? Does everybody involved really reap any true satisfaction in knowing they’re being used for sex? More importantly, when does a woman resolve to say that she is really okay with selling out for a man?
I understand that the need for a serious relationship, let alone a marriage has become nearly obsolete for the fact that men virtually have an endless smorgasbord of stupid women from which to choose, who will provide them with cheap meaningless free sex.
Women who don’t regard themselves or their bodies as much more than disposable plastic gel figurines to be prodded and hurled away, who convince themselves that it’s completely acceptable to let him pound, back and forth and upside down without even going on a decent date.
Women, who foolishly at the same time think that bartering on their looks and sexual techniques alone with little else to offer, will ensnare these men into wanting a relationship. Which makes me wonder, do women ever really do it for the sake of the sex itself? Or do they do it and secretly hope more will come out of it?
If the trite cliché “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” is the most obvious reasoning here, then try beating that into the heads of the women who can’t ignore their emotions boiling over the surface when the guy unsurprisingly doesn’t call the next day.
Most men are generally wired to have casual sex without so much as losing an eyelash, while most of the time women are wired to feel overly-emotional, who will more often than not, lose a piece of their dignity and self-esteem in the process.
However, if the woman in question doesn’t regard herself as worthy and dignified, she isn’t really losing much of anything at all is she? So I’m sure one could argue how women might come to terms with allowing such meaningless relationships to flourish in their lives- there would have to be a sense of honor and decency within one’s self to recognize when and how that honor and decency was being thrown out with yesterday’s dishwater.
As harsh as it seems, forsaking one’s self-respect isn’t a very respectable position from which to expect respect.
If you want to have casual sex, fine. That’s your decision. Do your thing and get on with it, and close yourself off to everything but the physical.
At least try and convince yourself that you can.
Just don’t expect a man to suddenly jump through hoops and offer you the world on a silver platter. He already got everything you’ve bargained for without having to do anything but treat you like crap, so why he should he care if your heart is broken?
It isn’t just women. I can surely blame both men and women for the phenomena of “Let’s hit it, quit it, and forget it”.
Women however, have essentially given a backseat to their self-respect and pride and have made it easy on their many potential boyfriends and husbands, by allowing them to take and give little or nothing in return. They have lowered their expectations because they don’t place any worth on themselves or value anything other than their own sex appeal.
I blame these women, because they won’t allow, require or demand anything better, nor would they know what it was if it came up and smacked them in the face with a sock full of marbles. But they have their freedom and their pride don’t they? They get to act like men and sleep around in the same fashion men do, like it’s some kind of rare prize-worthy talent in which they’ll be given a laudatory thumbs up.
No, I’m sorry, it just makes you look desperate and idiotic.
We are women and we get to choose. Why choose to be someone’s whore?
Of course I blame men too. Men can’t be admonished for preying on these desperate foolish women. Men, who don’t have the decency to let a sleeping dog lie, who won’t muster up the courage to show restraint beyond that which is gauged by the size of their erection and cease to be anything more than a parasite.
They are given the role of being totally uncaring and self-seeking, which is nothing admirable.
However, not all men and women have sold out for this. I like to think there’s still hope for marriage, relationships and hopefully, the future of mankind. Though from this angle, high hopes seem like a tall order among the current and rising epidemic of lost and lonely souls.
Forgive me for being naïve and sounding a bit old-fashioned in this day and age, but I thought sex could still reside along parameters of being meaningful, intimate and special- instead of just winding up a worn-out bawdy punch line used by every skank and douchebag on every useless TV show airing on Thursday nights.
Next: Man Your Game Sucks
Previous: Your Man and the Strip Club
well if you can find men who still believe in love and sex being sacred and all that jazz give them my contact info cos I’ve pretty much given up! I mean I can’t compete in a world of Amber Roses and Kim Kardashians who make being a cum bucket cool…Men look at me as if I’m ancient for wanting something meaningful and for not being willing to compromise my beliefs for a 2 second ride on their magic stick!
Love your blog btw
It’s hard for most of us to compete with Miss Kim and Miss Amber in the looks department. But it’s also hard to compete with a douchebags whose only priorities in life are to use women and line them up according to their expiration date.
Good men don’t treat women this way and comparing a bad one to a good one is like comparing dog crap to caviar.
Find yourself some caviar Lulu! They’re out there and ripe for the picking!
“We are women and we get to choose. Why choose to be someone’s whore?” – you said it! I don’t know what else there is to add.
Looking forward to the forthcoming discussion.
Thanks for stopping in Hopeful.
Women have the power and the choice. It’s ultimately up to us whether we give it up or not. And when we do, we can’t take it back.
So let’s make sure the dude is worth it.
this post is very usefull thx!
Yup- I learned some men can not tell between generic dog food, and a medium well filet mignon. Their loss!
It’s true that we need to BELIEVE we deserve better, took me a while but I’m not looking back! It’s not worth it. I have accepted the fact that I will have less to choose from (once all the D-O-G-S are weeded out), but like you said, there’s caviar out there, and I will wait for it. No need for cheap baby hot dogs when the caviar is there for the taking. I tried this NSA/hook ups/casual sex “relationships” and guess what, never again, my self-respect is worth so much more than a cheap thrill. I’m growing up I guess, and I love it.
BTW- love your blog, it is very empowering- and Happy Holidays!!
– hugs —
Thanks Miriam! Glad you like the blog and I’m glad my message is loud and clear. Empowerment is what we must provide for each other! <3
You're right, it's their loss! And your gain. Men who can't distinguish dog food from Filet Mignon have incredibly poor taste in EVERY area. Too bad for them but great for us!!
Call me oldfashioned & I say, Thank Ya! I have learned after upteen many years that sex is JUST so much way better when it is with someone you have a connection. I have enough time & experience with the subject to know for sure that a lot of people in this fast shallow hook-up generation are going to pay a heavy price for this destructive cultural, becoming too accepted norm. What is sad is kids are being pumelted with sexual images & misleading, untrue information about sex at WAY too young an age. It’s seeming like they never had a chance to learn there is a better way to form & have interpersonal, intimate relationships. Girls & women carry the burden of all the negative aspects that can happen due to sexual activity with numerous partners way, way more so than males. For the most part sex is overated, we all have learned as we age. It is in that mystical time of coming of age youth that it is a “big deal.” The freaking entertainment industry, media hype & instantious on-line porn at the click of a mouse is ruining minds, causing all kinds of health, emotional & psychological problems. The reasearch reports are starting to PROVE how detrimental it can be & is to adults, so why the hell would anyone be surprised of the unhealthy ill affect it is having on kids? Having a moral compus & boundries has nothing to do with what faith one is & all to do with a civil society staying empathitic, respectful, humanistic, unified & did ya hear me say CIVIL? The ole boys club is alive & actively setting women back decades in the minds of men & young men coming up. That porn is mind-fucking men & young men back to thinking women are nothing more than objects to be used as cum catching buckets. Sitting around yanking their dicks to the smutt to the point of not being able to get hard & have sex in a natural manner. Intimacy & accountability, senusal pleasing & plesure are out the window. They still hold the higher jobs wih higher pay position in society & they take those twisted unhealthy minds of theirs into society & thus the bombarding sexist self-entitled new age misogynistic train is rolling through society & over women at high speed…..reeking havoic at every level, you name it from A-Z…..from unjust issues in relation to self-entitled power trips to depressed shame & guilt causing the problems they do….to ED occuring in healthy young men….and the torrid splatter of any & all mess created from such smutt & activity is spewing on women in any kind of you name it way. It’s screwing the men up too, they just too damn lead with thieir dicks to realize it or know it & they’ll blame the females for all the problems. I’ve been reading about it for the past two weeks. I swear the human race is shedding tons of brain cells by the nano-second when it comes to having the skills to keep love & respect, very much needed, in personal human interaction & relationships. The girls don’t get a free pass from me on this one either. I realize they are confused & just trying to keep up, but until the real pussy is unobtainable & we reinstate in our females that none of this is okay & extremely unhealthy to satisifying procreation unions, it won’t stop. Stop hooking up ladies, you saying yes & accepting this detrimental animalistic behavior is 1/2 the damn problem. Work with Fido at home when he is truely addicted to the smutt & yanking that thing at adnormal times, with record breaking cum counts & educate him to the studies piling in showing & proving that that thing won’t rott off from an addiction to the smutt, but it can be broken & just lay limp. The dumasses don’t even realize what they are doing to themselves or their RL sexual encounters with warm real women. This is a WHOLE new ballgame nowadays. This isn’t the kids are finally asleep get out the VCR & pop that nasty tape in Saturday nights mom & dad get freaky time. Nope, something totally different is brewing in society nowadays. Maybe we need to make greeting cards & have t-shirts made that say, ” Yank it till it lays limp & 5 seconds later I’ll LEAVE! I’m outta here. Bye-Bye Daddy Boy! Mommy can’t bounce up & down & have a good time on a broken limp dick ! ” Hope all those arguements we had when I was asking you to stop or excert some self control that you use to blame on me being a prudish bitch were worth it looser! I wouldn’t put up with it. I think back 16 years ago, had a two year old, business phone ringing in my kitchen, laundry, three meals a day to cook & dishes to do, a long with everything else involved with RL & I finally get down time with my sexy man &…..do what…..happening time & time again & then I find out the real reason why & your ass was steady blaming me for YOUR problem. Divorce Court here we come baby! Yank on that limp thing with the unrealistic scripted manipulated human dog & pony show while you cut me that child-support check. The kids need new school clothes. Make sure you are here no later than 4pm Friday to pick them up for your visitation weekend & DON’T your ass EVEN think about being late! I’m taking time for a long bubble bath, I found a real man & I’m back in the game! Hope it was ALL worth it chump! Working out just GREAT for me, Thank ya! Call me oldfashioned, so what, Thank Ya! Don’t put up with it ladies, DON’T !!!